P.I.N.T.

I don't know what you heard about me

But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free

You can sit yourself on my knee

But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T.

I don't know what you heard about me

But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free

You can sit yourself on my knee

But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T.

Now Sharon, she's in the pub, she's pullin a pint

And pullin the punters if she thinks the price is right (ohh...)

She's into nuts and gin

With Slimline Tonic

She plucked out her eyebrow with dribble lyin on it

I go buy her a drink and just get her some pork scratchins

But I keep her off my pint cos I think her water's catchin (euh!)

It's pub quiz night and she's bad for my health

She asked me 21 questions and they're all about herself (what?!)

She likes my hair, she likes my car - she's in the Daily Sport

I don't understand a single word

Cos she comes from York

I'm not that bloke that's only tryin to get her into bed

I'm that bloke that's only tryin cos I'm off my head

We can leave now, if you're startin to get bored

We'll take the bus home cos my Nova's not insured

Look luv it's simple, if you're sittin with me -

Sip your drink, but don't touch my P.I.N.T. (hahaha)

I don't know what you heard about me (yeah!)

But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free

You can sit yourself on my knee

But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T.

Bup, bup, bup, bup - burn unit

F for FTY

Pence - that's me

I work in the Burn Unit Infirmary

NHS pension 'till I'm 63

And you know that I'm representin King's Langley

F for FTY

Pence - that's me

I'm a nature loving geezer - you can find me in the tree

I'm accidentally known and locally accepted

Get off my pint!

So know you know about me

Yeah luv, got my Reebok classics on

I'm about to show you why my pint hand is quite strong

You're not wrong if you think I've got a lazy eye

It's cos I had a mishap with a steak and kidney pie (oops!)

I downed a pint the same way I down a glass of water

I swear I didn't know this bird was the Landlord's daugher

Burn U.N.I.Tzy

I bumped my head, and now I'm feeling dizzy

I've got people in Watford that know how I get down

I've got a bird in Hemel

A few mates in town

I've got a job in McDonald's, and I'm not messin around

I've got a Big Mac, McFlurry's and a quarter pound-errr (hahaha)

Just put it on my tab

Pick up a donna at Millennium Keebab (hello)

So closin time, and about the fightin

I've got a beer-proof vest to avoid the pinting (peesh) pintinging...

I don't know what you heard about me

But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free

You can sit yourself on my knee (yeah!)

But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T.

I don't know what you heard about me (haha)

But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free

You can sit yourself on my knee

But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T.

Yeah

Now in Hollywood they say there's no business like showbusiness

Well in the pub, Dave said, there's no business like the dole business

He's a baker

Ya see ifItalkreallyfastIsoundlikeapratbutifyoulistenrealfastyaknowthatIain'tgonna slow down (haha)...

Yeah