The Ballad of Chapped Lips Calhoun

Verse 1:

It was back in 1849 at the springfield golden nugget mine,

That my great-grandma, dlores saved the day

When she propped the shaft and saved the lives

Of the other forty other springfield wives

When all ma grandpa's buddies ran away

Chorus:

The menfolf found their women scary

'cos they were so big and hairy,

They thought of dynamite to seal them in

[music plays]

Verse 2:

Gramps was known as "chapped lips calhoun,"

He was in the local saloon,

In came billy-joe walton through the door

He said "they've blown the golden nugget

My grandaddy said "oh f...darn it!"

'you buried my dlores, my sweet little golden ore"

Swing it son

[music plays]

Verse 3:

Now my granddady jumped from his table

Finished his jug,

And he got up to that mine just as likety-darn-split as he could,

Stopped off to fetch a shovel,

Feed the dogs,

Brush his teeth,

Clean the john and give his hoss one final rubdown

Cos' a cowboy's life ain't easy and life is hard,

You can take him from the saddle,

But he'll be foreved scarred

[music break]

'cos my grandpa was a man in love,

Called dlores his "prarie dove,"

And he told her that he loved her with every sigh

'cos she never one forgave him,

Even underneath the cave in,

But he knew that she would forgive him,

In that goldmine in the sky

Goldmine in the sky