Relapse Into Sickness

Once within the chaotic maze I'm lost forlorn

Crushed in dejection by a whole host of possibilities

I followed whispers suffocating in the gloom

Gurgling like blood through a slit throat

I followed in silence amid twisting halls

Only just iridescent of fading specks of light

Consumed and put out by tears that blood has shed

All around losing substance giving way to numbness

Where in others what springs is fear of the unknown

In essence irrational but still hard to subjugate

Bleak prospect of finding any sense at all

Betrayed from the start by my very nature

Fruit of centuries of regenerating in suppression

Absurd inhibitions shackled higher insurrection

Incoherent ideas sculpted to spread dismay and guilt

For crimes that aren't, in my core I seek to ravish

Lapsing in lower state while drifting in a sea of languor

Demise is all I can perceive among this horde

Vacillating like tired birds amid ferocious hail

Sipping untold mystery diseased born of fear

Raping dispoiling whatever pure still stands

Adulterated by slithering concealed snakes

Sinuously in motion allure to feeble emotion

Envenomed dragged to the brink of resignation

Life allure to the hopeless herd grazing in envenomed fields

Lost in a path littered by virtuous truths of doubt

Bound by gregarious existence based upon perversion

Castrated ideals set my inside ablaze

Upon facing the golden age of filth

Pervaded with every kind of shit

Where subhuman mongoloid scum

Thrive engaging in boundaries perversion

Orgiastic culture of death fruit of our own making

Upon abject liars I vomit this visceral gush of aversion

Sought for domination I'm none's to bleed

Never shall I feed greed with pain and fear

Cut me open pull me inside out but I shall never bleed

All around me weather before hateful eyes

Bonds of affection are no more than frail twigs

Bound to be shattered in the midst of violent gales

Gales of hate where's there's no life

Veins vigorously pumping blood infused in abhorrence

While malevolence brews within my soulless heart

Intrinsic hatred voraciously eating me out

Lost and destined to dwell were no life dwells

Dead inside now choking on my own lies

Death becomes the only concrete reality