The Hannukah Oing

[Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background]

"And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl."

Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?"

Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did. I - first of all I just wanted to say

that you're -- very pretty girl, and I, I -- hoo -- you'the -- we've

known each other for so long now, and-uh, it's about time that the two

of us -- we're both getting older right now, and-uh, and I don't want to

die alone, I -- tell you that much -- hoo -- getting ahead of myself --

got ta slow down, hoo-hoo, concentrate on what I'm trying to get across

to you right now, hoo, I mean,

whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband,

you don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there, there, I'm, I'm,

the-, I'm, I'm -- hoo, honeymoon in the

Poconos, with the -- hoo, woo hoo -- sex optional -- you don't have to

do what you don't want to do, hoo hoo hoo hoo, someday you're going to

love me, and that -- that's fi-- til death do us part I, we'll get the

chocolate cake and the sunrise and the sunset -- no prenuptial agree --"

Girl: "Look, are you trying to ask me to marry you? Because I'm just not

ready for that kind of commitment."

Excited Southerner: "Coooooo."