The Mule Session

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian

My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean

My sister´s on the dope and my brother always picks his nose

And Daddy´s only happy when he´s wearing Mama´s pantyhose, yeah

I just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times!)

Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I got

But I´ve got my mule

He´s a very, very nice mule

He walks with me home from school

Cause he´s a very, very nice mule

When he was a baby my mother fed him gruel

But now he prefers to dine on his own stool

He always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul

Cause he´s a very, very pious mule

When he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to druel

On Halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoul

He once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel

Cause he´s a very, very Old school mule

A needle-nosed plier is his favorite tool

He lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the Rec. Center pool

When I break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuel

He´s a devoted fan of Ms. Paula Abdul

And also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie Jewel

(coughing)

When I told him Halle Berry´s husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself ´what a fool´

Cause he´s a very, very monogamous mule

(snoring) Porkchop! Wake up, man, the session´s not over!

After several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively O´Doul

And every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club to show kids smoking isn´t cool

His favorite Elvis song is ´Don´t be Cruel´, no it´s ´Hound Dog´

I was just kidding you