Fear Of Bliss

My misery has enjoyed company

And although I have ached

I don't threaten anybody

Sometimes I feel more bigness

Than I've shared with you

Sometimes I wonder why I quell

When I'm not required to

I've tried to be small

I've tried to be stunted

I've tried roadblocks

And all my happy endings prevented

Sometimes I feel it's all

Just too big to be true

I sabotage myself for fear

Of what my bigness could do

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude

Fear of bigness

And ensuing solitude

I could be golden

I could be glowing

I could be freedom

But that could be boring

Sometimes I feel this

Is too scary to be true

I sabotage myself

For fear of losing you

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude

Fear of bigness

And ensuing solitude

This talk of liberation

Makes me want to go lie down

Under the covers

Til' the terror of the unknown is gone

I could be full

I could be thriving

I could be shining

Sounds isolating

Sometimes I feel this

Is too good to be true

I sabotage myself

For fear of what my joy could do

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude

Fear of bigness

And ensuing solitude