Losing The Plot

Welcome back, insomnia

Ushered back into silence

Only when everyone else is sleeping

And 'cause the city is sleeping

No one ruthless is rushing

To get to the front of the line as usual

'Cause I am losing the plot

I am grieving the end of superwoman-ing

I have laid down my cape

As though I haven’t risen like a phoenix

From a thousand deaths

As though I have not been reborn

To notice that my mission is not dead yet

I’m exhausted, Midas

Reigniting a hunger that typically fuels those of us

To searching for something outside ourselves

'Cause the city bears violence

And everybody is rushing to stop at the podium

And thank the ones who loved

And exploited well

I am losing the plot

I am grieving the end of superwoman-ing

I have laid down my cape

As though I haven’t risen like a phoenix

From a thousand deaths

As though I have not been reborn

To notice that my mission is not dead yet

The light at the end of the tunnel

The one I’ve always prayed for

Is a train at a hundred miles per hour

And it promises to break my bones

If I don’t stand still

Rip my heart out, ambition mill or bust

With my relevance in dust

I am losing the plot

I am grieving the end of superwoman-ing

I have laid down my cape

As though I haven’t risen like a phoenix

From a thousand deaths

As though I have’t been reborn

To notice that my mission is not dead yet

As though this fame and pressure

Has not dimmed the lights around my head

As though my heart has not kept

All my cynicism under the mattress

And I can’t keep it up

Though the fire is not outed

I am losing the plot