Sorry To Myself

For hearing all my doubts so selectively

And for continuing my numbing relentlessly

For helping you and myself not even considering

For beating myself up and overfunctioning

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me

For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable

For my self-love being so embarassingly conditional

And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible

And for trying to fit a rectangle into a hole

And to whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me

I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here

Before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse

Than I would anybody else

For blaming myself for your unhappiness

And for my impatience when I was perfect where I was

Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready

And expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be

To whom do I owe the first apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me

And I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here

Before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse

Than I would anybody else

Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest

Forgetting you or forgetting myself?

Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter

I would've naturally loved the former

For ignoring you, my highest voices

For smiling when my strife was all too obvious

For being so disassociated from my body

And for not letting go

When it would've been the kindest thing

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me

And I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here

Before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse

Than I would anybody else

I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here

Before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse

Than I would anybody else