Pokémon, what happened to you?

I remember when there were only one-hundred and fifty of you

Well, technically one-hundred and one if you are counting Mew, but I digress

I guess I spent the best years of my little life

Surfing Cinnabar Island to get one-hundred and twenty-six Revives

And I miss the Pokémon Center

I miss its music too

And the way that Snorlax looked like Lapras on water

Pokémon, what happened to you?

In the old days, you only got one form of every kind

I could name all the Gym Leaders, didn't even have to try

But now you've shown me Team Galactic and Dark and Steel and eggs

Oh I want my Red and Blue back when Ditto wasn't used for sex

I miss the cycling road, don't you know

I miss the music too

And I can't believe you used to be in black and white

Pokémon, what happened to you

Now Legendary means nothing to me

Because one-of-a-kind creatures add up to over thirty

And I only want three choices for my Eevee

I don't want a rival if his name is not Gary

And how the hell do you pronounce Sweecoon, Sooisine, Sweesign, Sooisoon, I don't know

I miss holding down the B button when I thought it made it easier

I miss surfing to the truck and using Strength to try and move it

I miss watching my Charmander evolve into a Charmeleon

I don't accept your Leaf Green, they'll always be Red and Blue to me

Yesterday I dreamt I was surrounded by Unown

The spelled the words "I'm sorry on behalf of Nintendo

We don't get Poffins either, and SuperContests are so-so

And the Pokédex was fine, it didn't need a radio"

I miss the Team Rocket hideout

And I miss the music too

And why have shinies if they're so impossible to find

Pokémon, what happened to you

Pokémon, what happened to you

And I'll never again experience that joy of mine

Because you are incompatible with my brand new DSi