Vincent Price Monologue

Leaving lepidoptera - please, don't touch the display,

Little boy, aha cute! moving to the next aisle we have

Arachnida, the spiders, our.. finest collection.

This friendly little devil is the heptothilidi,

Unfortunately harmless. next to him, the nasty licosa

Raptoria, his tiny fangs cause creeping ulcerations of

The skin *laugh*. and here, my prize, the black

Widow. isn't she lovely?.. and so deadly. her kiss is

Fifteen times as poisonous as that of the rattlesnake.

You see her venom is highly neurotoxic, which is to say

That it attacks the central nervous system causing

Intense pain, profuse sweating, difficulty in

Breathing, loss of consciousness, violent convulsions

And, finally.. death. you know what i think i love the

Most about her is her inborn need to dominate,

Possess. in fact, immediately after the consummation

Of her marriage to the smaller and weaker male of the

Species she kills and eats him - *laugh* oh, she is

Delicious.. and i hope he was! such power and dignity

- unhampered by sentiment. if i may put forward a

Slice of personal philosophy, i feel that man has ruled

This world as a stumbling dimented child-king long

Enough! and as his empire crumbles, my precious black

Widow shall rise as his most fitting successor!