Crazy Downtown

Mommy and dad

Are never nervous or mad

When you teenagers go downtown

Daddy and mom just stay

At home and keep calm

And watch the late late show

Uptown

Cause when you kids are gone

We get to spend some time alone here

That's our only chance to use

The bathtub or the phone here

When you're away

Besides, we're stuck where we are

Because you kids took our money

You kids took our car

And went downtown

Where can you possibly, downtown

It's twenty after three, downtown

What do you mean by let's frug

You don't come home till four a. m

Cause you're roaming in

The streets somewhere downtown

We would feel swell

If only someone would tell us

What goes on down there downtown

But every time we ask you

What you're doing after dark there

You just say that you were

Frugging to Petula Clark there

That's what I mean

So, kids, give your folks a break

Because you're driving us crazy

We sit here all night

And take pills down

Swallowing pills so we'll calm down

Counting the hours you're downtown

You and your frug and your slop

Downtown, downtown

While we're lying there

We try to watch the television

Then you call us up and say

You've had a slight collision

There goes the car

Beside that

You've been arrested

So we've gotta get up

And we've gotta get dressed

And go downtown

Borrow a car and go downtown

That's where you are

You finks, downtown

Wait'll I get you kids home

There'll be no more frugging

No swimming, no jerk

No mashed potato, no slop

And I'll tell you something else

You're gonna stay home tomorrow night

And your mother and I are going downtown

And we're gonna dance the tango

And the waltz and the foxtrot

And we're going to do the bunny hop

Those are nice dances

And there'll be no more frugging

Is that quite clear

No more frugging