Bigger On The Inside

You’d think I’d shot their children

From the way that they are talking

And there’s no point in responding

Cause it will not make them stop

And I am tired of explaining

And of seeing so much hating

In the very same safe haven

Where I used to just see helping

I’ve been drunk and skipping dinner

Eating skin from off my fingers

And I tried to call my brother

But he no longer exists

I keep forgetting to remember

That he would have been much prouder

If he saw me shake these insults off

Instead of getting bitter…

I am bigger on the inside

But you have to come inside to see me

Otherwise you’re only hating

Other people’s low-res copies

You’d think I’d learn my lesson

From the way they keep on testing

My capacity for pain

And my resolve to not get violent

But though my skin is thickened

Certain spots can still be gotten

It is typically human of me

Thinking I am different

To friends hooked up to hospital machines

To fix their cancer

And there is no better place than from this

Waiting room to answer

The french kid who wrote an e-mail

To the website late last night

His father raped him and he’s scared

He asked me

How do you keep fighting?

And the truth is I don’t know

I think it’s funny that he asked me

Cause I don’t feel like a fighter lately

I am too unhappy

You are bigger on the inside

But your father cannot see

You need to tell someone

Be strong

And somewhere some dumb rock star truly loves you

You’d think I’d get perspective

From my view here by the bedside

It is difficult to see the ones I love

So close to death

All their infections and prescriptions

And the will to live at all in question

Can I not accept that my own problems

Are so small

You took my hand when you woke up

I had been crying in the darkness

We all die alone but I am so, so glad

That you are here

You whispered:

"We are so much bigger on the inside,

You, me, everybody

Some day when you’re lying where I am

You’ll finally get it, beauty

We are so much bigger

Than another one can ever see

But

Trying is the point of life

So don’t stop trying

Promise me"