All Your Jeans Were Too Tight

Everything I say sounds clumsy and dumb

Trying to make you feel better

Is like trying to trick St. Peter

Tuesdays and Thursdays I remember

The Star's well drink special

A well cheap as the tide

Like that one that swallowed you up

Yeah, you could really get f~cked up

You and I brawl

To give me all your clothes

I looked like a fool

To give everything away

I put my flowers in your window

To hide a world nobody would ever prize

And all of this vanity would be funny

If it didn't hurt so much

You and I brawl

All you and I had to throw away

Was a cowardly pile of sheets

And a heartbeat that couldn't carry you

To want something better

The street screwdrivers were like TNT

And he said, "Your agony

Is such an obvious barge to tow."

That not even a mother could drop

And he took his advice he said,

"Drop your disappointment

Like you drop a grand piano."

You and I brawl

To give me all your clothes

But all your jeans were too tight

And why did you paint your bathroom black

I can understand liking Barbara Streisand

But I'm not sure about the soundtrack from Diva

And what was up with the tanning salon

I'm sorry I said anything about the tattoo

But did you really need another earring

And I hope that you know that I really loved you

And we had a good time, didn't we?