Bells

When I can't find the word I'm looking for

Or I reach into the drawer with four tries

But nothing sticks

There's no telling why I opened it

I try but I just forget

What there once was, I have not forgotten

What there once was, it won't leave me alone

The synapses still fire and direct my thoughts

They just seem tired of hunting for homes

And I'm not brave enough to say that I'm not afraid

Should I return to confused bits of blindness

A tongue wanting words in the sweet of speech finds a form

Then return to the bald toothless need of a child

Hunched and cradled

(His spine returns the curl to fit the cleft of an arm)

Oh, we are embarked and return to the place we start to thrash against it

It's a wild thing to accept, and who can hold it?

Think about the loss of anything

Well, someday if you wake to a nameless stranger in me

Lead me outside. Let me go.

If I'm already there, just let me go

I'm not