Shame (feat. Josh Garrels)

You fly in circles around my head

While I sit on the edge of my bed

I cry, oh, what have I done again?

'Cause I'm 'bout to hate who I am

'Cause I'm 'bout to hate who I am

I chase the moment that when I had it I felt alive

But now that the thrill is gone

I feel dead inside

I feel like everyone know the secrets I wanna hide

And every time they ask me how I'm doing

I just say: I'm fine

Too embarrassed to share it or maybe too much pride

I create my own prison, holding the keys inside

Punishing myself for all of these crimes

And I'm trying to convince God that I'm not a waste of His time

What's wrong with me?

Am I defective?

I keep on making a mess

Why can't I ever get it together?

Soon people gon' find out

I'm not what they expected

They see who I really am then I end up rejected

I try to stand tall, but these knees are collapsing

'Stead of asking for help these apps'll distract me

So lonely, but so many people a friend of me

While I post, I hope one day to be happy as I pretend to be

You fly in circles around my head

While I sit on the edge of my bed

I cry, oh, what have I done again?

'Cause I'm 'bout to hate who I am

'Cause I'm 'bout to hate who I am

Uh, I was thirteen the first time my momma caught me watching porn

She started screaming

She couldn't believe her last born

Was dabbling in something so destructive

I wish I could have said it was my last time, but nah, it wasn't

And the more I thought about it, the more I got bothered

These women I'm objectifying are somebody's daughters

I really never thought I had a problem till it followed me to college

And I felt debilitated by its bondage, uh

Became a Christian, heard about God's power

Couldn't see it in my life

But I could tell you all about it

Overloaded with knowledge, making so little progress

Became a public figure, but my struggles were in private

Only started tasting freedom when I'm being honest

And I learn that when I am weak is when I'm seeing God the strongest

I know some people gon' be quick to throw stones

But I'll take all of those hits to know that you not alone

And after 28 years of life, I decided

Everybody's crooked, some just have a better job of hiding it

Oh, how good does freedom taste

I hope they gon' give me the forgiveness

They gon' need one day

I pray

Jesus, He washes away of all my sin

Washes away all my sin

Jesus washes away all of my sin

Jesus, He washes away of all my sin

Washes away all my sin

Jesus washes away all of my sin

Jesus, He washes away of all my sin

Washes away all my sin

Jesus washes away all of my sin

Jesus, He washes away of all my sin

Washes away all my sin

Jesus washes away all of my sin

Jesus, He washes away of all my sin

Washes away all my sin

Jesus washes away all of my sin

Jesus, He washes away of all my sin

Washes away all my sin

Jesus washes away all of my sin

Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

He washes away all of my sin (oh)

Oh, oh, oh