Believable

Sitting in the car, talking with the window down

See the bottom of your pant leg as it brushes with the ground

And I feel sick with this thing

I have to swallow and pretend to look around

This is a fiction I've created

I am cutting down a forest of words I'm not allowed

And I have fields of propositions that I've gated

And I only let them go if I can sing them to a crowd

I guess that I wanna be believable

But the catch in my throat is the consequence of being full

Of choices I can't make

And levers I can't pull

Just across the table you're feeding me with talk of inner confidence

You're taking me upstairs, introducing me to people I have not seen since

And I'm wearing these bracelets to weigh down the shaking in my wrists

I'm trying my best but sooner or later you'll notice this

I guess that I wanna be believable

But the catch in my throat is the consequence of being full

Of choices I can't make

And levers I can't pull

You'd say that I deserve this, you'd say I'm asking for it

Will I choose to hold it back

Or will I pound this wall until the surface

I guess that I deserve this, I guess I'm asking for it

Will I choose to hold it back

Or will I pound and punch until the surface cracks....

Sitting in the car talking with the window down

See the bottom of your pant leg as it brushes with the ground

And I feel sick with this thing

I have to swallow and pretend to look around.