Greedy Kipper

Once I knew a nipper, a greedy little kipper,

Once a fella said to me,

I know where there is a tree,

Laden up with fruit, warranted to suit,

Anybody great or small.

So I went and did a bunk, I went to get a trunk,

I didn't mean to get a few,

I meant to get a ton or two,

Of apples off the tree, wasn't greedy 'cos you see,

I'm very very fond of fruit.

So off I went to have a look at 'em,

I just cocked my leg upon the wall,

When my blood turned pale and a seven inch nail,

Went right up you know, where the monkey has a tail,

And I never had a look at 'em at all