Swinton's A Shit Hole

If words can paint a picture

Then Scunthorpe is a gatefold

Pages getting uglier with every turn

Swinton is a shit hole

Brighton is a scrapheap

A broken rusting pyre that wouldn't burn

A place that's not worth knowing

Dudley is a nightmare

Fleets of wired junkies who refuse to cleanse

Swinton is a shit hole

Scarborough is a tip

With tides of brown that stretch out as evenings extend

Swinton is a shit hole

But what on Earth do I know?

I've never been

I've never set foot outside these concrete walls

But I'll make the trip someday

And until then I know nothing at all

Chester is awash with wannabes and fakers

I've never seen it for myself

But I've been told it's pretty grim

I'd fit right in

I'll go there too someday on a whim

Swinton is a shit hole

But what on Earth do I know?

I've never seen it for myself

Swinton is a shit hole

But what on Earth do I know?

I've never been 'cos life's too short

To suffer all of England's composites

Where hired limousines are gridlocked in the night time

It's the best

But I'll hold out for the rest if you don't mind

Swinton is a shit hole

But what on Earth do I know?

I've never been

I've never seen it for myself

Swinton is a shit hole

But what the hell do I know?

I've never been ouside these four shit-coloured walls