So Much Scared

Bright-colored hexagons are whirling in my head

They are dancing in the rhythm

Of terrible screams

I wish it was a dream

I can't control myself

My whole world is centered on whirling hexagons

They're devouring my brain

Every cell is in flames

Now I know how it is to be alone, to be insane

I'm praying it was just a nightmare

I'm begging you to wake me up

A sudden gentle touch gets me out of this numbness

but my thoughts play a cruel game

with my senses again

I can't see anything, I'm blind, can't scream

Your fear's scaring me

your terrified faces disappear

My thoughts are my worst enemies.

They beat my naked, poor, inflamed brain

I'm alone in the whole universe in my head

I hear millions of different voices all together and separately

So please don't leave me alone in my sick-burning mind

I'm not sleeping. Help me to open my eyes.

I answered all the questions even ones I had never asked before.

Now I know everything.

Now I know what eternity is.

So please don't ask me what I want. I belong to you.

I surrender, you know better what I should do

To stop whirling hexagons

You know how to calm down my six-dimensional world

I've been living for ages in it.

Please, I'm so afraid. Get me away from my mind.

I'm lying in the small uncomfortable bed

I'm trying to forget

Where I have been, what I have seen

I'm afraid my mad thoughts can return

I'm afraid to fall asleep