Confessions of a Big Brother

I used to be so proud of thinking I was such a liar

In the covert world of romance, brother, I was just a try-er

Woman was the enemy and victory the point

Where I'd successfully knocked someone's heart out of joint

And it's hilarious to think I thought by now I'd have a wife

But I've always been so desperate to give away my life

Then I just get lazy, I've got everything assumed

Sometimes there's nothing sexier than knowing that you're doomed

And I bed you got a fright

When you took that girl to bed

It was only your first night

When she grabbed your head and said,

"Look at me. Hey, look at me

You don't love me, I can see.

You just want me for some fun

I might as well be anyone."

I hope you'll reap the benefits of our ten years apart

But when I tell you not to give a fuck, don't take it to heart

Try and be a gentleman and always tell the truth

I'm not just a hypocrite, I'm jealous of your youth

And I can't give you a lecture on how to be a man

I've not much advice to offer, no solid, foolproof plan

But even though you're certain that it's just a bit of fun

You'll soon get sick of microwaving low-fat meals for one

So when you ignore her call

And you just delete her text

It might make you feel tall

As you make room for the next

But look at me, hey, look at me

You know I love you, obviously

And I don't want to spoil your fun

But you don't have to hurt someone.