Speed Date

The ugly tattooed swingers euphemise

And call their mucky hobby "tryst"

But if i saw another man touch you

I'd break his fucking wrists

"monogamy's not natural, we can't survive"

That's what he'll say

He loves to swap, he's open-minded

But don't dare suggest he's gay

And maybe we're just lucky

Maybe our connection is unique

And if that's really just what normal people do

Aren't you proud to be a freak ?

The so-called "doctor" gray's a billionaire

Because he's got the sexes sussed

We're a different race, we can't communicate

And mind-games are a must

But if you need a man, just buy the book

And follow all the rules

There's no-one quicker to splash out

Than vulnerable, desperate lonely fools

Do you know enough to circle me a "yes"

In just three minutes, can i suitably impress

Why don't we ignore the whistle

Just a look, a smile, a kiss'll tell you

All you really need to know

And maybe we're just different

Maybe we're nature's surprise

So put down the book, log off,

And keep your wallet closed

And just look me in the eyes