Bad Bad Daddy

You can find me over there at the bar

You ain't even gotta ask

I don't know where they are

I'm a bad bad daddy

I'm a bad bad daddy

And I'm nasty

And I still ain't callin it quits

But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids

I'm a bad bad daddy

I'm a bad bad daddy

Sittin at the bar just minding my biz

I came down with all nine of my kids

And they all got an attitude

Mad cause I said we can't go to the zoo

It's not a lie

But daddys too high

If I drive, I will probably catch a DUI

Here, play with this pitcher of beer

Sit in there chairs, and don't disappear

Everybody on your best behavior

Tip the waitress, respect your neighbors

I'll be watchin

You know what not to do

Don't make me walk over here

Just to talk to you

I gave em all some money

So they could play pinball and put

grub in they tummies

Now Imma go get bombed

And you better not tell your mom

And like clockwork, soon as I stepped away

You know they got worse

They didn't hesitate

Of course they start with the horseplay

And then it escalates

Then you get a court case

Little Sluggos

Thugs and cutthroats

Big trouble, cigarettes, puff those

Smash bottles on the floor and

Writing graffiti, fighting with the door man

Playin with switchblades and matches

Pick pocketin the cash and the plastic

Gettin high out back by the trashcans

Tryin to get the waitress to give a lapdance

I can't control em

So Imma pretend I don't know em

Now let me celebrate and get drunk

Cause my wife missed her period again this month

You can find me over there at the bar

You ain't even gotta ask, I don't know where they are

I'm a bad bad daddy

I'm a bad bad daddy

And I'm nasty

And I still ain't callin it quits

But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids

I'm a bad bad daddy

I'm a bad bad daddy

Somebody slap me