Pretend You Love Me

I was just a kid but I learned much too fast

Found the internet way too young, a scar that would last

And you know I hate thinking someone else did this to me

But I had all the resources because of your enabling

And sometimes I wonder if I didn't hurt so bad

Would I have been more lovable to my mom and my dad?

If I went back in time to see six years old me

I'd say this shit does not get better this is who you're meant to be, and

I'm a monster so you say

And I do this on purpose anyway

I need to feel this pain

So I can try to crawl away when you say my name

Hold me down and scream at me

You said this is where I deserve to be

So keep pretending you love me

And I'll believe you although you never show it to me

Wow, you're such a quiet kid they all would say to me

Don't call me an old soul when I'm just unhappy

You treated me like an adult when I was still so young

You ask what you did wrong but you fucking knew it all along

I know that I was difficult or that's how you felt

But I was told that I was selfish when I needed fucking help

I remember when I lied to you, I ran away and hid

But you didn't had to hurt me, I was just a little kid

I was just a little kid

And now I'm still a little kid, and

I'm a monster so you say

And I do this on purpose anyway

I need to feel this pain

So I can try to crawl away when you say my name

Hold me down and scream at me

You said this is where I deserve to be

So keep pretending you love me

I'll believe you, I'll believe you

I'm a monster so you say

And I do this on purpose anyway

I need to feel this pain

So I can try to crawl away when you say my name

Hold me down and scream at me

You said this is where I deserve to be

So keep pretending you love me

I'll believe you but you never show it to me