Jesus Stag Night Club

Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady

Bloody thorns 'round his ears like he was a crazy

He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine

Crushed a berry in his perrier and called it wine

He said, "there's great sadness in life, but don't sit there and blub:

Here's some tickets for your friends to the jesus stag night club!"

I can't remember where i was last night

Think i was hanging naked off a church spire

Tied by my ankles to a weathervane

Felt like i was jesus on fire

Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck

I begged my dad (?) to take me to a strip bar

Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs

Drove myself home in a stolen car

Turn a bird upside down and it lies in your fingers like a dead man

When you throw it in the air it's resurrected from your hand

We went to a motel, he showed me his bible

I said, "tell me the truth," while he looked me in the eyeball

He said, "there's great happiness in life but don't just sit there in love:

Here's some tickets for your friends to the jesus stag night club!"

I can't remember where i was last night

Think i was getting on a night bus

Lyin' on the laps of my good friends

Judas priest and lazarus

I'm getting married in the big bad morning

But it feels like i'm giving birth

I feel so happy i could scream

"this is my last few seconds on earth"

Saw a man in the street lying on the floor beaten up

He had a fish finger sandwich and a yellow m coffee cup

I bent down drunk and tried to pick him up

But when i turned around i could see…it was jesus…

I can't remember where i was last night

Think i was hanging on a church spire

Tied by my ankles to a weathervane

Felt like i was jesus on fire

Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck

I begged my dad to take me to a strip bar

Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs

Drove myself home in a stolen car

I can't remember where i was last night

Think i was getting on a night bus

Lyin' on the laps of my good friends

Judas priest and lazarus

I'm getting married in the big bad morning

But it feels like i'm giving birth

I feel so happy i could scream

"this is my last few seconds on earth!"