Miners' Arms

Viv/Chorus : Castleford folk,

Look after each other.

Castleford folk,

Look after their own.

Castleford folk,

Are just like a fam'ly.

You'll never have to be alone

With Castleford folk around.

Welcome back home now

Viv and Keith

Welcome back home to

Where you belong.

Let us be just like one big happy fam'ly

The money won't have changed 'em

It won't have changed them one little bit.

They're Castleford folk like us

They're Castleford folk like -

Woman : Bloody 'ell.

Drinker : Go on, lad

Chorus : Give us three cheers,

For Viv and Keith.

Hip, hip, hooray! stay

Where you belong.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer couple

We hope it makes you happy.

We hope it makes you happy as hell

You're Castleford folk like us

You're Castleford folk like us.

Keith : We'll take care of thee

We'll take care of thee.

The drinks are on us

We'll pick up the tab.

We're going to get 'em in

Drink all that you want

Light, bitter or brown,

Drambuie, port or gin,

We'll take care of thee

We'll take care of thee.

Chorus : All aboard the gravy train,

Fill your boots, be quick before booze runs out

All aboard the gravy train.

Man : And mine's a brandy -

Why not? It's costing nowt.

Chorus : Let's get arseholed while it's there

We all work so hard, we deserve a bash,

They've got loads of cash to spare.

Woman : And it serves them right for both being flashy.

Viv/Girls : Nicholsons! The jammy bleeders

Jammy bleeders - that is all

Solo 2 : Now they think they're summat special

They'll be riding for a fall.

Chorus : They're riding for a fall.

George : While you were in London, you've had some post.

Viv : A sackful of beggin' letters.

Granny : Yesterday my wee cat, my little kitty died

Run down and killed,

And, dearie, how I cried.

Had her seventeen years

I'm eighty-two today.

But what will I do now pussy's gone away?

I've no-one to talk to without him around.

I'd buy another cat but I need eighty pound.

Oh, kitty,

Poor, kitty,

Who'll take care of me?

Who'll take care of me now you've gone?

Young Viv : We'll have to send her the money.

Viv : But the man from the Pools put us right.

Pools Man : They're written by pros,

They're all on the scrounge

They're conning you if they can

That little old dear's

A dangerous crook

And what's more she's a man!

Fraudster : Keep out of it, you!

Pools Man : I'll take care of these.

George : Daughter, oh, daughter

Don't she take after me?

Please put an end to my frettin'

All I am askin's

Has tha' made up tha mind,

How much thy dad'll be gettin'?

Young Viv : You're not gettin' a penny.

George : Remember how I brought you up from a little bairn!

Young Viv : I do. That's why you're not gettin' a penny.

George : Thanks for your honesty, love. She'll come round.

Chorus : Booze!

Down the booze!

George : Seeing stars?

I'm seeing comets!

Chorus : Booze!

Down the booze!

Girl : Won't be long before he vomits.

George : 'Eck! The wife is feeling frisky.

Chorus : Booze!

Down the booze!

George : Mary, quick!

Gonna need

Another whisky.

Landlady : Here's your bill, love.

It's gonna cost you a quid or two.

Keith : Bloody 'ell! It's six months' wages. Lucky I'm not earning them

anymore!

Behold! My brand new cheque book

Behold! My gold-nibbed Parker fountain pen

As used by gentlemen.

Behold! I'm like an artist

Behold! I sign my name like Mozart did

Behold! Two hundred quid!

Man : Nicholsons! The jammy bleeders,

Woman : Jumped up bigheads - that is clear.

Man : Truth to tell, I never liked 'em,

Woman : Even so, we'll drink their beer.

Man : Yes, we will drink their beer.

Chorus : Booze! Down the booze!

Man : Cheers, Keith!

Chorus : Booze! Down the booze!

Young Viv : Who's that?

Chorus : Booze! Down the booze

Keith : Never seen him before in me life.

Chorus : Booze! Down the booze!

Young Viv : I've not seen half of these before.

Keith : Just look at 'em, will yer!

Get drunker and sillier,

And as I look round here,

There's hardly a face that's remotely familiar.

Pushing, shoving, shouting in the streets

Dust-ups, bust-ups, all a bit too much.

People think you'll be an easy touch.

You meet old friends,

They make no sound.

There's nowt to say,

There's no common ground.

The world has changed,

For you and me,

And nothing in it ever can be the same.

Jealous Woman : Jammy pig!

Chorus : Get a new home now,

Viv and Keith.

Get a new home,

Somewhere you belong.

Stranger : How does it feel, like winning all that money?

Keith : Like being in a freak show,

And starring me, the king of the freaks,

We're Castleford folk no more.

Chorus : You're Castleford folk no more.

Viv : Laughing, talking, dancing in the streets,

Sing songs, ding dongs, dominoes and darts.

Front doors open wide, like people's hearts,

A better time

Went by so quick

Or is the mem'ry

Playing a trick?

Young Viv/Keith : The world has changed

For you and me

And nothing in it ever can be the same