Salon Mystique

Viv : At Salon Mystique,

To tell you the truth

We haven't the secret of eternal youth

But here are the creams

The powders and oils,

We slap on your skin an' 'air

To make you feel like flippin' royals

Your spirits are down

We'll give them a lift

We've not seen the laughter line

We couldn't shift

We're fighting the flab

It soon disappears

We'll turn back the clock

We'll roll back the years

We have the know how

With an oil of avocado

Soon we will show how

You can look like Brigitte Bardot

Viv/Receptionist : The young Brigitte Bardot

Viv : Now what can we do for you today?

Mrs Waterman : I wanna new look

Viv : We will transform you, madam - in a trice!

Mrs Waterman : Summut like her

Viv : What? Michelle Pfeiffer? Why not; very nice!

Mrs Waterman : Or Claudia Schiffer - which do you prefer?

Viv : Be less ambitious, love That's my advice.

Mrs Waterman : So how did it feel?

Viv : Hey up! I think I know what's coming now!

Mrs Waterman : You being so rich!

Viv : And blowing every cent, you soppy cow?

Mrs Waterman : Then chucking it all away

(And now she's broke, the silly bitch!)

I bet you feel daft.

Viv : Oh yes, Ms Pfeiffer, don't you like to gloat.

Mrs Waterman : You must have been thick.

Viv : Pass me that towel - I'll shove it down her throat.

Mrs Waterman : Just thinking of all that waste - it makes you sick.

Viv : Who did you hair last?

He'd had a few beers.

Sit back in your seat

And roll back the years

Roll back the years,

Old dears

Fight the good fight,

Wrinklies must unite.

Roll back the years

Mrs Waterman : So how did it feel like? Winning all that money?

Sue : Hey, Gran!

Viv : Sue!

Sue : Hey Gran! Guess what I've done?

Viv : What?

Sue : I've only gone and won it!

Viv : What you won?

Sue : I've only won the Lottery

Mrs Waterman : You Nicholsons are jammy bleeders!

Sue : Guess what?

I'm gonna blow the lot!

I'm gonna be like you, Gran!

I'm gonna Spend! Spend! Spend!

Twenty-five quid!

Viv : Still, that's what it felt like! At least, I think that's what it felt like...

Roll back the years, the years

Picture the past

Time that went so fast

Roll back the years,

All the things you can't forget,

Funny memories, and yet,

Somehow they're beautiful.

Roll back the years

The years.

Try to recall

Was it real at all?

Roll back the years,

See the girl I used to be

Always late - aye, that were me.

And maybe - beautiful...?