Satan Gave Me a Taco

Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick

The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick

The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard

I was gettin' kinda dizzy eatin' all the lard

There was aphids on the lettuce an' I ate every one

An' after I was done the salsa melted off my tongue

Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat

An' the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat

My stomach was a-tremblin' and I broke out in a rash

I was so dry and thirsty and I didn't have no cash

So I went and found a hose, tore off all my clothes

Turned on the water and it shot right up my nose

Some old lady came along and she thought I was a freak

So she beat me with a handbag till I could hardly speak

I was lying there naked, my body badly bruised

In a pool of my own blood, unconscious and confused

Well, the cops came and got me and threw me in their van

And I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn't find my hand

They took me to the judge, his eyes a-glowin' red

The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead

Well, the sheriff was a hellhound with fangs and claws

The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls

The air was gettin' thick; the smoke was gettin' thicker

The judge read the verdict: said, "Cut off his head!"

Well, they placed me on the altar, and they raised up the axe

My head was about to explode when I noticed the Marshall stacks

I noticed all the smoke machines, cameras and the lights

Some guy with a microphone, runnin' around dancin' in tights

And I noticed the crew and the band playin' down below

And I realized I was in a rock video

So I went and joined the band

And I went out on tour

And I smoked a lot of heroin

And I passed out in manure

I made out with the groupies

Come on here

Started fires backstage

Oh, yeah, started 'em all

Made a lot of money

Oh, yeah, I'm makin' it

And I gave it all away

Give it all to me

Well, the band got killed

Ah, bunch of losers

So I started a solo career

Aha, yeah

And I won all the awards

Get 'em all now

And I drank all the beer

Drink it all up; get funky

I opened up a taco stand

Aha

Just to smell the smell

Oho

Cookin' with the devil

Fryin' down in hell