Today

Today I found a thousand steaming hot dogs in my bathtub

Goat's head nailed to my door

There was voices chanting in the toaster oven

And I drove to work from the back seat of my car

At work, the boss was giving away tickets to his own hanging

People are smoking joints out of their noses at their desks

The typewriter was lonely, writing love letters

And the telephones are answering themselves

Whooo

And the supermarket was having a free sale

And the turkeys were climbing out of their packaging

And dancing in the aisles with friendly midgets

As watermelons exploded with delight

Santa Claus ran naked through the city with his fangs on fire

Taco truck was being driven by a hyperventilating cactus

A mariachi band was playing water polo with a prosthetic head

And the furniture was sitting on all the people

And the plates were eating all the food

Whoo yea