Watchtower Magazine

My friends were having a party

I felt something strange was starting

It was much too late to start

I drank so much Jagermeister

I told the coffee table that I liked her

Take her in my arms

We played croquet on the lawn

Nobody had any clothes on

Except for the motorcycle helmets

And after the sun did rise

It was taken by surprise

I was burned out beyond belief

I had to pick myself off the floor

My mother was at the door

Selling Watchtower magazines

I couldn't believe it was true

And Mom, I thought you were a Jew

Why are you selling Watchtower magazines?

After she came in

She stepped in a bowl of Ramen

Wiped it on some guy's face

I must have been on God's shit list

My mom was a Jehovah's Witness

Had to buy subscriptions just to make her leave

I had to pick myself off the floor

My mother was at the door

Selling Watchtower magazines

Her prayers were much too frequent

After all that shock treatment

Now she's selling Watchtower magazines