Why Does She Stay?

She's a domestic violence survivor a regular hospital patient

He swears that it was an accident, she claims it was blatant

Those who think that they know him will of course have their doubts

And the ones who believe her will quickly point out

That it's happened so many times and he hasn't changed yet

If she doesn't just leave him she deserves what she gets

She'll get no support from those who don't understand

Why she would stay with such an abusive man

Why doesn't she leave?

Why does she stay in an abusive situation, where he's made her his prisoner

And the acts of violence get worse every day?

Many women lose their support systems

Once the batterer has isolated her and no one will listen

To her plea for help, her cries of despair

And when the incident is over he always swears

That he knows there's a problem and he's going to get help

Not for her but for himself

Shifting the focus to his pain and away from hers

Convincing her that it's not just his problem but both of theirs

So he needs her support and for her to remain

Because he really is trying and he's going to change

So she remains in an abusive situation

And lives with fear and intimidation

And the familiar words of regret and repeated apologies

The psychological battering and sexual abuse

And the promise of reprisal if she ever leaves

Each day there's a new bruise that she manages to hide

Sometimes it's denial and sometimes it's pride

She really doesn't want to live life this way

But there are countless reasons why she might stay

Maybe it's low self-esteem

No self-respect

Maybe it's her children that she's trying to protect

Maybe it's financial security, having a home

Having to make it out on her own

Maybe she sees it as normal from her childhood abuse

Maybe she's tired of fighting so what's the use

Maybe the police who were called doubted her statement

Or maybe she loves him and is trying to be patient

He'll never run out of excuses for his continued assault

He'll rationalize his abuse and how it's really her fault

If she'd only obey him and be a better wife

If he didn't have all of these pressures in his job or his life

It's not because stress has taken its toll

But because he's seeking obedience, dominance and power

And he knows that his abuse gets him control

And if it gets him what he wants then he'll do it again

The single greatest cause of injury to women is by abusive men

Thousands of women are murdered by their partners every year

Is it so hard to understand why she stays and lives in fear?