Moose In My House

Two weeks ago last Monday I was driving home at night

The guy in front was pokey, he wanted to see the sites

I didn't wanna be Gumby so I switched to passing gear

When I pulled up along side him, he offered me a beer

"Hey man, you wanna beer?"

"No thanks, man."

"You sure?"

"No, I'm Bob."

"Ok man, we'll see ya later."

I pulled into my driveway, walked up to my front door

I went inside and noticed there were hoof marks on the floor

I measured them with utmost care and thought the tracks were deer

Then suddenly it hit me what was happening in here

There's a Moose in my House

I thought it was a deer

There's a Moose in my House

But now it's really clear

There's a Moose in my House

Got a major problem here

Moose, Moose in my House

What am I gonna tell my Dog?

I checked the mail and found a box from the Sierra Club

I ran into the bathroom and found moose hair in my tub

My bill from Bell has phone calls to the Yukon and Montana

My tooth brush smells like moose breath, I'm missing my pajamas

There's a Moose in my House

I don't know what to do

There's a Moose in my House

I stepped in Moosey poo

There's a Moose in my House

My dog is turning blue

Moose, Moose in my House

I looked in here, I looked in there, I looked in the dirty clothes hamper

I looked in the backyard and found a troop of Cub Scout campers

I asked them why that they were here it is my yard you know

They said they "we are moose hunters, this is the place to go"

"We're moose hunters!"

"Oh yeah?"

"He's in your house!"

"I know. Ya wanna get outta my yard?""

I know this all sounds stupid, you probably think I'm dumb

You might think I'm a mental case or maybe just a bum

But someday you just might come home and find a big surprise

A moose takes up a lot of space and really draws the flies

There's a Moose in my House

I thought it was deer

There's a Moose in my House

But now it's really clear

There's a Moose in my House

I should have had that beer

There's a Moose in my House

Got a major problem here

There's a Moose in my House

I don't know what to do

There's a Moose in my House

I steeped in Moosy poo

There's a Moose in my House

I hope that there aren't two

There's a Moose in my House

My dog is turning blue