Slither

We slithered out of your reach

All of us had someone like you to run from

Our wings were clipped, and our limbs were damaged

But we crawled and picked our way out as far as we could

We lived by the water

Took care of something that made its home deep below the surface

The mother of the depths returned our kindness

By giving us her flesh to sustain us

She was sick and diseased like we all were

But she kept us alive

Things settled

And some of our feathers started to grow back

A different color than before

Our bones began to heal, at new angles

But almost as strong as they used to be

We held each other close at night

And whispered that things were different now

Things were safe

We needed to be reminded nightly

Or else we'd forget

You found us

You came while we were sleeping

You talked with warm familiarity

And I threw up at your feet

You asked me what was wrong

Sincere, and I couldn't answer

I wish it was easier to hate you

I wish you were a bad person

But instead I just think that I am for wanting that

We drove you away haltingly

I told you I needed more time

As if I hadn't already decided what you were to me

I wish you knew what you did

But I don't want to tell you

It would be easier if you were something I had nightmares about

Instead of ugly, complicated dreams

I want to flatten you into a villain

But I think that would only turn me into one

Please leave me alone

I'm happy now

I'm happy here

Please don't look for me

I promise I'm okay

Please go

Listen to me

I'm going to speak plainly

I'm not going to say your name

I'm afraid

Because of what I know you won't mention

All those years of horrible tension

I don't think you're a monster, hardly

I just think that you fucked up, badly

I can never tell you what you did to me

So I have to settle for this, I hope truly

That you never hear these words that I'm speaking

This is just for me as I'm healing

It's not my fault that my soul is a war

That I don't want to say I love you on the phone anymore

I blame you. But I don't want to hate you

But maybe that's because I'm afraid to

There is a memory of when I was young and I admired you so much

There is a memory of when I was young and I admired you so much

(We got away, but everything reminds us)

There is a memory of when I was young and I admired you so much

(We got away, but everything reminds us)

There is a memory of when I was young and I admired you so much

(We got away, but everything reminds us)

There is a memory of when I was young and I admired you so much

(We got away, but everything reminds us)

There is a memory of when I was young and I admired you so much

(We got away, but everything reminds us)

I admired you so much

What comes next?

Is there anything after?

Where will we go for now?

Who will we become?

I wonder

I've never wondered before

Everything always changes but it's always the same

Everything always changes, it flickers like flames

Everything always changes, dice roll to a different face

Everything always changes, new skin, new name

Everything always changes but it's different sides of one thing

Everything always changes, in a circle, in a ring