Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Blood Freak
Canonical path: /blood-freak/boarding-house
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
Boarding House
Read Boarding House lyrics by Blood Freak on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
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Lyrics
Boarding House
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After another allnighter of killing,
Turkey makes movie madness pit stop rental,
For some goretits and blood spilling
I tried to rent "Don't Go In The House",
But some dipshit beat me to it,
Instead I got stuck with something called Boarding House!!!
Alone on the racks it sat stinking like slime,
Battered, worn out, and beat up
A forgotten VHS turd in time
Said it starred someone named "Kalassu"
And directed by "John Wintergate,
I wondered and shouted out loud - "WHO???"
I did not expect what I saw on my TV,
My brain began to instantly rot,
As new heights of lunacy flashed before me,
Early 80's shot-on-video pioneering trash,
Piled on the gore, filth, and boobage,
So greasy and stupid it gave me a rash
Cheesy commodore 64 opening credits,
With loud obnoxious sounds grating my ears,
And really testing my limits
Tells the tale of the cursed "Hoffman house"
A premise so flimsy and weak,
I hope a chick at least takes off her blouse
Chorus:
Boarding House!!!
Where the rent won't kill you,
But something else will!!!
Boarding House!!!
Along with the new residents,
Something else moved in!!!!
Camaro driving sleazeball re-opens the place,
Pathetic rat-tail sporting, weasel looking bastard,
"Tom G Warrior with AIDS" with an even uglier face
Ad in paper looking for "beautiful women with no ties",
1980's sluts arrive firing up the Jacuzzi 'n bikinis
I really couldn't wait until everybody dies!!!
Slasher-style killings, bad dreams and pie fights,
Bad editing, fake accents, dime-store gore fx
Wow this flick really fucking bites!!!
But the more I watched, the more my sanity fled,
Sitting through this shitbucket of a flick,
Meant that people would soon be dead!!!
Chorus:
Boarding House!!!
Where are you Kalassu, John Wintergate,
And the others???
Boarding House!!!
You've taken 95 minutes of my life away,
So how do I than you???
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Who performs "Boarding House"?
Blood Freak performs "Boarding House", and this lyric page sits inside the Blood Freak catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Boarding House"?
Yes. The related section below points to 30 ft. Arterial Spray and Aerobicide with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Blood Freak?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Blood Freak's lyric pages.
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