Dagenham Dream

We received our bloody circles in the mail

Only see what's really important when it's nailed

As a teen, my Lord and savior was a male

Tightened truss and six steel strings that keep me frail

It's the worst I've ever felt, when it hailed

Broken teeth and bloody nose but least it snowed

Instantly dry, oh, I cried and cut a line

In my eyebrow, acted like the boys in town

Then my teacher told me that this made her sad

Had to act just like the others to get around

Friday nights alone in Ilford with my board

Like, growing up I have always heard or like, I was always hyperaware of

The things that the people around me who were charged with my care

Or told me, like, be silent or be quiet

Or be ashamed or hide

Or perform a version of myself that wasn't really me

And so, I think that through my life I've always been hyperconscious and aware of not going into spaces and seeking too much attention

Um, because part of survival is, like, being able to just fit in

To be seen as normal and to, like, quote-unquote belong

But I think that so often in society in order to belong means that we have to, like, shrink parts of ourselves