Photoshop

I used to be the biggest loser

I never could do anything right

I wet the bed till I was fourteen

Could never hold my own in a fight

But suddenly everything got changed

My whole life story rearranged

And all my friends they think that I'm deranged

But they don't understand the godly powers that I've gained

I got photoshop and I can't stop

I just copy/paste then I drag and drop

And everything in my life seems so much better

Oh that fateful day at comp usa

I was picking up a copy of gta

And they were having a two for one special if you bought em' together

I got all a's on my report card

At least the one I showed my dad

And here's a note from cameron diaz

Saying I'm the best she's ever had

I got the girl of my dreams

To finally break up with eugene

When she saw those pictures so obscene of

Eugie all tied up in bed with with her dear old aunt eileen

I got photoshop and I can't stop

I just copy/paste then I drag and drop

And everything in my life seems so much better

Making fake ids now is such a breeze

Just a couple clicks and I'm 23

Oh and look here's a picture of me with my friend eddie vedder

It shouldn't be a mystery that I'll go down in history

As one of the most famous photoshoppers of our century

But I'm just hoping nobody could possibly be on to me

While I'm still live and kicking cause then they'll haul me off to jail

Then I'll go on regretably to work for a federal agency

Helping pigs in suits with cracking down on other forgeries

And when I'm finished up in there they'll strap me to an electric chair

To serve as an example to you newbies everywhere

The green day concert's all sold out now

But I just got a backstage pass

And here's my brand new sat scores

The college board can kiss my ass

Here's my check from mtv

And it's all made out to me

And it'll probably take an eternity

Before accounting finds out that I'm not an employee

I got photoshop and I can't stop

I just copy/paste then I drag and drop

And everything in my life seems so much better

Like this girl I date thinks I'm 28

Little does she know that I'm jailbait

And she even thinks I'm certified to forecast the weather