Three Legged Man

Well now friends you'd never guess it so I really must confess it

I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life

But a friend of mine said buddy just in case your mind is muddy

Don't you know that girl you're fooling with is Peg-Leg Johnson's wife

And that man is hard and cold and mean and grim

And he'll catch you and he'll brain you with his artificial limb

But next morning bright and early I stole old Peg-Leg's girlie

And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe

But there weren't no time for laughter cause he started hopping after

And I keep on running faster but he won't give up the chase

And I'm running through the mountains with his bride

And I got his wooden leg here by my side

I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman

Being chased across country by a one-legged fool

Though he's hoppin' and he's clappin' and he shows no sign of stoppin'

I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel

Through the deserts and the valleys and those dark Chicago alleys

Cross the muddy Mississippi to the hills of Caroline

Through the mountains of Montana and the swamps of Louisiana

Each time that I look back he's just about one foot behind

And I know he must be cold and wet and sick

But in spite of all his troubles he can kick

Oh he's ragged and he's filthy and I'm feeling kinda guilty

Specially in the evenings when I hear him plead and beg

He says in spite of all your stealing friend I bear you no hard feelings

You can keep that damned old woman but please give me back my leg

Cause old friend I know you think you took my wooden leg

But in the dark you made a mistake you took my good leg

I'm a three-legged man...

I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel