understand

Girl, I hope you understand, I wanted to hold your hand

But I can't, wanted to be your man back then

And you knew I fell for you but you just broke my heart in two

I was sad, mad, and broken on my bed

Hoping I get rid of all the voices in my head

I was opening a packet of an undeveloped med

When I was met with a prescription of a bullet made of lead

And when I woke up in an hour in a pool of my own sweat

I said: I swear to God I'll never even try to sleep again

So instead I took my pen and started writing evidence

And when I started making sense

I found that I had reached the end

Oh, I'm upset, I have no friends

You wanna bet you're just pretend?

You're just a pet confined within the lines of writing

You're not shit

I thought I stopped my psychopathic ways, I swear I did

I said I'd talk to people 'bout the problematic life I lived

They were my neighbors, razor blades

And different flavored pills I hit

Therefore I'm at surely my last straw

I'm so gassed, stuck in the past, I said that

Girl, I hope you understand, I wanted to hold your hand

But I can't, wanted to be your man back then

And so far I never held you with my arms

So it's hard to be the one you aren't

With instead filled with anxiety

Always was a part of me, guess I'm not cut out to be

Somebody 'cause it's not me, I'm not used to all the talking

Was an introvert that had converted feelings into writing

Used to cope with all my problems using notes and lots of rhyming

Used to hope for better days whenever nights would have me crying

I'm not lying when I say that I would rather die than go back

To the times I would try and be the guy the people know

As always fighting with the demons hiding far behind my eyelids

On an island full of violence, in my head I had two pilots

Oh, the Sun don't shine and skies turn grey

I feel it coursing through my veins

I've said before I'm not okay

But you don't listen anyway

You know I tried, you turned away

You straight up lied right to my face

You fucked my life, ruined my day

But you don't know, so I'll say

Nothing can fill this silence, no one can love like I did

(You don't know, so I'll say)

Nobody cares, you lied, it's no fair, you still deny it

(So I'll say)

Nothing can fill this silence, no one can love like I did

(You don't know, so I'll say)

Nobody cares, you lied, it's no fair, you still deny it

(So I'll say)

Girl, I hope you understand, I wanted to hold your hand

But I can't, wanted to be your man back then

And too bad I know I can't wake up because I lost my way

And you don't give a fuck about me, this could be a dream

I can't see the things that you see, so please, oh

Girl, I hope you understand, I wanted to hold your hand

But I can't, wanted to be your man back then

And you had known and played along

You were my home, I wrote you songs

Now you're dead to me, effectively

Removed yourself outside my dreams