Paperboy

Don’t you know me? I’m your paperboy.

Throwing bundles of newspaper joy,

This neighborhood’s a loony bin

I’d rather throw the news in compton

If you live here, you’re probably crazy

Lock your dog up, stop that baby!

I’m on duty, it’s all about discipline

Please don’t strike me with that rolling pin

I sometimes miss when I throw

Sorry I broke your window

Can’t maneuver on a drainage ditch

Cars don’t stop here, they’ll just hit a bitch

Can’t stop riding, it’s just what I do

My bike pedals are glazed with superglue

I’m on my bike, perpetually

I lay in bed, bike lays with me

On this side street, rules are strict and tight

New subscribers, paint your house white

I have nightmares, shaking at the wheel

Then I wake up and do it for real

Now faulty aim may occur, sorry

I threw the paper at a car and killed your father

Now it’s sunday, I am done, I’m out

Fuck these nutbags, fuck this paper route

I’m gonna get a job at wal-mart.