Hit The Switch

I'm staring out into that vaccum again

From the back porch of my mind

The only thing thats alive

I'm all there is

And I start attacking my vodka, stab the ice with my straw

My eyes have turned red as stoplights, you seem ready to walk

You know I'll call you eventually, when I wanna talk

'Til then you're invisible

'Cause theres a switch that gets hit and it all stops making sense

And in the middle of drinks, maybe the fifth or the sixth

I'm completely alone at a table of friends

I feel nothing for them

I feel nothing, nothing

Well, I need a break from the city again

I think I'll ship myself back west

I got a friend there, she says, "hey, any time"

Unless that offers expired, I have been less than frequent

She's under no obligation to indulge every whim

And I'm so ungrateful, I take, she gives and forgives

And I keep forgetting it

And each morning she wakes with a dream to describe

Something lovely that bloomed in her beautiful mind

I said "I'll trade you one for two nightmares of mine

I have some where I die, I have some where we all die"

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again

I know I said that a couple times

And I'm always changing my mind, well, I guess I am

But theres this burn in my stomach and theres this pain in my side

And when I kneel at the toilet

And the mornings clean light pours in through the window

Sometimes I pray I don't die

I'm a goddamn hypocrite

But the night rolls around and it all starts making sense

There is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live

And so I do what I do and at least I exist

What could mean more than this?

What would mean more?

Mean more?

Ohhhh