Tape

I could barely rap, I could barely dance

I could barely laugh, I could barely hang

And there's a male stripper doing a belly dance

For me and my boyfriend still the same

And I'm drunk as fuck, nigga sucks up

For a reason to get my bucks up

And the reason I care about society

Is a good enough reason just to hire me

But honestly, see my mom can't walk

And her lungs don't work like they used to

And I feel like it's my fault 'cause of music

I be saying shit just to fucking ruined it, I'm truant

But truthfully, the words had damage and it's fooling me

But even more cruel to be

This is here for you niggas that paid to hear me

Sometimes I be wondering, why I been tripping off

And I should probably spend my time

Writing rhymes in the dentist's office

That's killing two birds in one song

When I was younger, way before I was grown

I wanted a deal with Death Row or Rhymesayers

I'm saving my time for mics later

I might save it, depending on the shit that y'all write later

I hate writers, I hate tweets, I hate journalists

They hate truth, they hate peace

They want my niggas to burn with us

Flicking on the face of my wrist watch

Watch the time stop just to speed up, watch life unfold

And between the tick-tocks, speeding down the one way

Fuck these signs, fuck these lights, put my life on the line

When it feel right, I'm fine, no, I'm not lyin', don't ask me

I'll pay the fine, I'll pay the toll, just hope I don't crash it

But hey, if I do, it will be a blaze of glory

Engulfed by the manifestation of death behind me

All my life I've felt inadequate

And through the years I've dealt with

Tragedy after tragedy, God, send a message

Send a messenger my way, never claimed to be a saint

Forgive me

Feel like the light that I was blessed with has diminished

I'm haunted, by the visions of my youth turned true

I've come to expect my expectations aren't true

But I'm a master of believing my lies

And you can't break me, and I can't break at the speed of light

I'm afraid to share the bed, what if she want money later?

Like she got laid off, uh, hit my lawyer for some paper

I'm afraid to speak my pains lik: You lucky where you at

You cool but quit complaining 'bout all that

That's why I'm showing up late

I'm not tryna be a dick, but my time is not to waste

For myself, for the small talk with my sensei

Where my sense at?

Four-cylinder go round, Lincoln Towncar pick me up

Drop me off

I got bubble under my biceps, meet me into the sidestep

Ego is getting sized up, I be on butterfly effect

Fuck it, I'll be myself now, tell 'em I take no shit now

Tell 'em they work for me now, tell 'em my tears, they bleed down

Tell 'em I work, like, what, what time for me now

Wondering who is me now, wondering where you been now

Lose you in crowds, I see now, 14, I see 'em all inside of me now

Bank account with less fees now, make it from ways to feed now

Thinking of ways to be everything but right now

It's crazy how things that are best

Reminisce when we check ourselves

It's crazy how people who left

Started feeling left out when we step for health

Still accustomed to nights filled with solitude

I don't always remember to call goodnight

I don't always remember my altitude

I don't always remember to stop the fight

But I might check my sight, it ain't right

Yeah I know, but my strife overwhelms, every night

Until I'm forced to close my eyes

Brain disease, parasite, eating me from inside

Emotions bleed, I can't believe

How I'm sleeping through the night