THE LIGHT

I give, my mom so, -mess

In the same house my dad died in, all alone

Tryin' not to be paranoid, tryin' not— as they're calling it

'Cause every headline is a reminder that the world's fucked

So I've been tryin' to see the light

In between the clouds

Still love that sunshine

When I look at myself, I see a broken man

Remnants of my pops, put the Glock to his head

Nothing ever go as planned, couldn't make amends

Forcibly pretend I don't give a damn

At a loss, aimless, six feet

Deep, suffocatin', can't face it

Can't change it, ain't make it

Master plans by the maker, I see no savior

Warped reflection in stainless steel, alcohol, and pills

Deadly combination left with nothin' else to feel

A floral haven, hope it was painless, I see you in the faces

Places, am I making? Reflections off a broken mirror

Fragments of my fear, glarin' back, like: Who's there?

I can't stand myself, beside myself, I see you there

I know you care, felt numb since September

When I heard the news, what I'd do to speak one last time

Think I always will be haunted by the image

Of a bloody backdrop, skull fragments in the ceilin'

Felt your presence in the room, heard my mother squealin'

Master of disguises, ash to ash, dust to dust, voids behind my eyelids

Blackin' out, bleedin' out, silence

Louder than a twisted tongue lion

As sick as our secrets, shadow people with needles

Bathin' through a peephole

Bedtime stories from purgatory, I miss you

For the record, I can fly

Around the world, absorbing light

Something's missin' deep inside

The light

Somethin' changed in Texas, guess I missed the message

Look, I missed my exit, I'm living like a Jetson

I was broke and desperate, leanin' on my best friends

Only shot callers I was around was bartendin'

Ain't no love in this game, momma, this is not tennis

Take your shoes off, we just did the carpetin'

I could the take the hatin', I could take the praisin'

It's all noise to me, I'll turn into Satan

Y'all stuck in the Matrix, red pill, blue pill, all these different faces

All these different cases, shit, y'all done seen me naked

So I'ma wear what I want now and I ain't finna fake it

Thank God I made it, thank God I seen God last summer

I was standing on the bridge, I see all y'all under me

Know you are struggling, niggas out here juggling

Losin' jobs, well, losin' God, then everything is tumbling

Feel Heaven rumbling, the rapture is comin'

I love the attention, I'm a bastard in public

I still struggle with tellin' my mom who I'm in love with

Subtleties in between where these diamonds gleam

When Thanksgiving come around, I still don't see 'em

When Christmas come around, nigga, I still don't see 'em

Told the world who I was before I got to know Ian

To get my people money in exchange for they freedom

I would give it all back for a chance to free 'em