Tonya

Mother, I am sorry, I never pick up

Mm-mmm

Because I'm afraid to disappoint

Ooh, oh, no

Oh, no

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

We were sat outside on the hardwood floor

With our feet in dirt, and our hearts in awe

I be losin' sleep thinkin' 'bout missed calls

And I see the names circling our thoughts

And I think about if we lose it all

And I turn to shit that you never want

Like the smoke, the drink, anything at all

And I'll say again, sorry I don't call

There's no money on my mind, but my money or my mind

What's the first to fall?

Never wanted this

Yeah

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

Sometimes it be so spot on it hurts

Like when Auntie couldn't decide between going to work or church

I've been in my feelings on an island in the dirt

I feel like brothers lie just so my feelings don't get hurt

I said, I'll try vacation, and I'll try to run away

I deleted Facebook, I'll trade fame any day

For a quiet Texas place and a barbecue plate

I'll switch my place if that's good for you, is that good for you?

My ghost still haunt you, my life is I, Tonya

Big eyed monster, only face to conquer

I hated songs about fame 'cause that stuff meant nothin'

Until them headlines came, then first flight I'm jumpin'

And maybe it means nothing

But I have to say I think about you often

(Ooh, ohh, ooh)

And if you want no part with me

I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged you

(Ooh, ohh, ooh)

And maybe it means nothing

But I have to say I think about you often

(Ooh, ooh, ooh)

And if you want no part with me

I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged you

(Ooh, ohh)

I took a plane to somewhere that I've never been

Too many times without my sister and my brother

Dad or mother by my side but they're in spirit

I always hear it, I know they feel it

My mom will always have these dreams that keep her up at night

I smoke to keep them all away and make use of the time

I'm void of feelin'

The reasons I'm so out of touch, now start revealin'

But I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid of who I am

Or how I trust my mental, yeah it's not perfect

But I guess that's just the life I'm into

I fantasize about a time when everything was simple

My shelter sheltered me from things I needed to commit to

The way it stands to me

A victim of Stockholm in my friendships and family

What's costin' you time? What's the reason that you whine?

What's in your wallet? Dead whites in mine

So sour, in this light of lime

Daddy said: Study hard or get that cash

Mommy said: Your career ain't gon' last

Loose change, collared cat, moved out their pad

I just want a chance to move past my past

Don't think too fast, private jets still crash

And I still fly coach, and I'll still hit a roach

And I still see roaches at the crib where my folks at

Touch your dreams 'fore you touch me and provoke a man

(Somebody gonna have to tell the truth and I'm gonna tell it!)

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to (how I used to)

(I don't matter!)

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to (how I used to, how)

(I don't matter!)

How I, how I, how I, how I

How I used to, how I used to

How I used to