Picket Fence

I was up and out my mothers house at 17

Been a grown ass married man ever since

Family reunions, I'm talked about but never seen

Cause I learned that some of them can be your nemesis

Got a lot of scars on me, I'll now tell you the stories

If, you promise not to take offense

Homie, sit back then, hand bring the beat in

I'll try to find a place that starts to make sense now

The first time I was pushed out blind

Cold and naked, spanked on the ass to breathe

An immigrant from heaven on earth with a word piece

I announce my self with gasps and screams

Before black and white supremacy, heighted my innocence

I was living out life behind the picket fence

Happy go lucky scared of no one

With the only exception, I'm allergic to the sun

Didn't know I had a image that a camera couldn't capture

100% on Mars manufacture

But then came the laughter, and outside I'm battered

Picket fence shattered

I saw my self as bastard tagalong, harassed and spat upon

By the children of slave masters who passed it on

The saddest songs been sung at the hands of who I call the race from hell

Its a disgrace from hell

Fell face first in the self hate

Burst into tears when I hear my own hellish name cursed

If I seem timid, its only because every mirror that I saw back then had the

earths ugliest human being in it

And with that said, they would kick me till they got tired or I act dead

And I, have to tell ya'll that the obvious part

That I always feel free when I'm talking to god

Alone on the playground, Friday afternoon

And the, old sister who hums gospel toons

I saw her notice getting closer

She approached me and put a knowing hand on my shoulder

And booked my feelings

Cause she looked at me in a way that adults very seldom look at children

And with the wisdom only earned by years

She read my thoughts and she welled up with tears and said

"You look the way you do because you're special

Not the short bus way, I mean that God's gonna test you

And all of this pain is training for the day when you

will have to lead with the gift God gave to you

Grown folks don't see it but the babies do

And there's a chance that you can save a few"

And time will prove that, she started my movement

She didn't tell me to take it - she told me to use it

The second time poppa ripped the womb open early

And exposed me to the coldness life prematurely

Where mom's love used to live, now housed denial

And when that decayed, it made it bitter and spiteful

But me and my runaway, we share something special

Rode into the sunset, can barely can tough the pedals

No strings attached, screaming, "fuck Geppetto"

We may live in the gutter, but we cling to each other

A week before my son came, I caught a bad bounce

And had to step to mom with my hands out

And momma proved the two of us could not live in that house

She lied to the police so they would throw us in the streets

And separating from you, is something that I feel I must do

Its not that I don't love you, its more that I don't trust you

Its been a year since I've seen a living relative

And it's just now that I'm starting to live

But while I'm sitting here, choking on tears wishing that I didn't care

Feeling all alone in this hemisphere, I swear upon everything I hold dear

And then my wife comes near, and I hear a voice whisper in my ear

"You're going through all of this because you're special

Not no superstar shit, I mean that God had to test you

And all of this pain has been training for the day when you

would lead us with the gift God gave to you

Your parents might not see it but your babies do

And there's a chance that you can save a few"

And time will prove that, she started my movement

She didn't tell me to take it, she told me to use it

So I use it