Fruitcakes

"You know, I was talking to my friend Desdemona, the other day

She runs this space station and bake shop down near Boomtown.

She told me that human beings are flawed individuals.

The cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early.

And that's the reason we're as crazy as we are and I believe it.

Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know.

They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered

Down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. I don't want it.

I don't want that much organization in my life.

I don't want other people thinking for me.

I want my Junior Mints.

Where did the Junior Mints go in the movies.

I don't want a 12 lb. Nestle's crunch for 25 dollars.

I want Junior Mints.

We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!

We need people that care! I'm mad as hell!

And I don't want to take it anymore!"

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes in the kitchen)

Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street)

Strutting naked through the crosswalk

In the middle of the week

Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven)

Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus)

There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Paradise, lost and found

Paradise, take a look around

I was out in California where I hear they have it all

They got riots, fires, mud slides

They've got sushi in the mall

Water bars, brontasaurs, Chinese modern lust

Shake and bake life with the quake

The secret's in the crust

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes in the kitchen)

Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street)

Strutting naked through the crosswalk

In the middle of the week

Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven)

Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus)

There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

"Speaking of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government?

Your tax dollars at work."

We lost our Martian rocket ship

The high paid spokesman said

Looks like that silly rocket ship

Has lost its cone shaped head

We spent 90 jillion dollars trying to get a look at Mars

I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars"

Fruitcakes in the galaxy (Fruitcakes in the galaxy)

Fruitcakes on the earth (Fruitcakes on the earth)

Strutting naked towards eternity

We've been that way since birth

Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven)

Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus)

There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

"Religion... Religion...

Oh, there's a thin line

Between Saturday night and Sunday morning.

Here we go now.

Alright, alter boys."

Mea Culpa Mea Culpa

Mea Maxima Culpa

Mea Culpa Mea Culpa

Mea Maxima Culpa

Where's the church, who took the steeple

Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people

Television preachers with bad hair and dimples

The God's honest truth is it's not that simple

It's the Buddhist in you, it's the Pagan in me

It's the Muslim in him, she's Catholic ain't she?

It's the born again, look!

It's the WASP and the Jew

Tell me what's going on, I ain't gotta clue!

"Now here comes the big ones: relationships!

We all got 'em, we all want 'em.

What do we do with 'em?

Here we go, I'll tell ya."

She said you gotta do your fair share

Now cough up half the rent

I treat my body like a temple

You treat yours like a tent

But the right word at the right time

May get me a little hug

That's the difference between lightning

And a harmless lightning bug

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes in the kitchen)

Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street)

Strutting naked through the crosswalk

In the middle of the week

Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven)

Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus)

There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

"The future. Captain's log, stardate two thousand andsomething."

We're seven years from the millenium

That's a science fiction fact

Stanley Kubrick and his buddy HAL

Now don't look that abstract

So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape

And practice what I preach

Get Jah lost in the reggae mon

As I walk along the beach

Stay in touch with my insanity really is the only way

Its a jungle out there kiddies

Have a very fruitful day

Hey.

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes in the kitchen)

Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street)

Struttin' naked through the crosswalk

In the middle of the week

Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven)

Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus)

There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

"That's right, you too!

Yeah, those crumbs are spread all around this universe.

I've seen fruitcakes.

I saw this guy in Santa Monica roller skate naked through the crosswalk.

Down in New Orleans, in the French market there are fruitcakes like you can not believe.

New York, forget it. Fruitcake city.

Down island, we've got fruitcakes.

Spread them crumbs around.

That's right, we want 'em around. Keep baking, baby. Keep baking."