Mrs. McGrath

Now, Mrs. McGrath," the sergeant said,

"Would you like to make a soldier

Out of your son, Ted?

With a scarlet cloak and a fine cocked hat,

Mrs. McGrath wouldn't you like that?"

Mrs. McGrath lived on the seashore

For the span of seven long years or more

'Till she saw big ship sailing into the bay

Saying,"Here's my son Ted! Won't you clear the way!"

"Oh, Captain dear, where have you been.

Have you been out sailin' on the Meditereen'.

Tell me the news of my son Ted.

Is the poor boy livin' or is he dead?"

Now up comes Ted without any legs

And in their place he has two wooden pegs

She kissed him a dozen times or two

Saying "Holly Molly! Sure, it couldn't be you?"

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"Now was you drunk or was you blind

When you left your two fine legs behind?

Or was it out walking upon the sea

That tore your legs from the ground to the knee?"

"No I wasn't drunk and I wasn't blind

When I left my two fine legs behind.

For a cannon ball on the fifth of May

Took my two fine legs from the knees away."

"Now Teddy me boy," the old widow cried

"Your two fine legs was your mama's pride

Them stumps of a tree won't do at all

Why didn't you run from the big cannon ball?"

"Now against all war, I do profrain

Between Don Juan and the King of Spain

And, by herrons, I'll make 'em rue the time

When they swept the legs from a child of mine."