Casting Agents and Cowgirls

Hey.... Hey.... Hey....

You did it, you got it

You wowed the world

Of casting agents and cowgirls

Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself

Girl, I'm a walking plane-crash to your moms and dads

Ostentatious and crass pulling the gauze

Off your scabs

Bitch, I negate the myth of the 'great black boyfriend'

In the Polaroid at the get-together

Wearing a corduroy vest-sweater

So don't get that engagement ring engraved

Cuz before we met you thought

that hoodrats laid eggs

And that rappers were just sky-pirates with peg legs

But I kick it with you simply for the shits and giggles, playful innuendo�s

You thought,

"He's just an uber-dred for the federal fiscal cap"

But after brunch, you'll need

2 Sudafed's and a disco nap

After I drain your insides with a crazy straw

You ain't my baby doll-

"Cuz Nigga you reek of coffee shop blend"

My body's a lollypop that caters to the

miss polyglot�s whim

With addictive agents that outweigh oxycodones

And our phobias perfectly fit

It takes a quirky chick with curvy hips to petrify this working-stiff

You did it, you got it

You wowed the world

Of casting agents and cowgirls

Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself

While I'm still on the shelf

They want an everyman milking the oldest gags

Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags

They want an everyman milking the oldest gags

Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags

I'll be today's avatar of the prefab

Then end up a child star in rehab

It's like a bed-and-breakfast

I'm sending a text message on my key pad

Saying, "I have no more to say

to me ex-manager(slash)sea hag divorcee

Except eat shit and die"

My daily commute ends with a fender-bender

Cuz no one acknowledges my ten-year tenure

I've got the know-how the thrill your scene

But they want someone lowbrow, a philistine

With iron-on irony for Viacom's white honkies

They'll send you a girl wearing

tight thongs under nylon gi's

"Lets all hit!"

But I'm not for the gaudy gangbang

the thought of it turns my member to a soggy plantain

and shit, I get off on news leads

and you pet mouse meat,

set and poised with sex toys

in your penthouse suite believing you're Lou Reed

I spit used reeds out the wet mouthpiece

Even when sex appeal is taboo,

electric bills are past due

My head is clear of engineered, election year snafu

You did it, you got it

You wowed the world

Of casting agents and cowgirls

Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself

While I'm still on the shelf

They want an everyman milking the oldest gags

Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags

They want an everyman milking the oldest gags

Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags

I used to say, fuck it

Wouldn't placate the functionaries

Too busy making playdates with buxom secretaries

But I hope that my homies don't laugh,

my choreographed dance steps

Are a little effeminate for a sociopath

We've been airbrushed so much we look like a claymation zoo

I'm a voice-over on your Playstation 2

But in my hey-day my ethical fiber

would turn stages into firewood

You did it, you got it

You wowed the world

Of casting agents and cowgirls

Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself

While I'm still on the shelf

They want an everyman milking the oldest gags

Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags

They want an everyman milking the oldest gags

Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags