Everytime

Everytime I clean my room I make another mess

Everytime I miss the bus Im late for a test

Everytime I'm re-incarnated its in the lowest form

I leave my window open everytime there is a storm

Everytime I have a hangover I have to go to work

Everytime I masturbate dry it tends to hurt

Everytime I pat a dog he bites me on the hand

Everytime I talk to aliens they dont understand

Everytime I skate I get another bruise

Everytime I get drunk I vomit on my shoes

Everytime I scratch the needle jumps

Everytime I drink milk it comes out in lumps

Everytime I freestyle I just talk shit

Everytime I catch the bus theres nowhere to sit

Everytime I catch the train Im hassled for a ticket

Everytime I bat in cricket first ball takes a wicket

Everytime Im drunk at a party in a toga

I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga

Everytime I eat I get a pain in my chest

Everytime I think its heartburn its cardiac arrest

Everytime I make a call call waiting interrupts

Everytime I dump a load at someones house it wont flush

Everytime it wont flush it stains the ceramic

If you ever see me happy its because Im manic

Doomed to fail

Everytime I give advice it comes out wrong

Everytime I get raided my prints are on the bong

Everytime I score I get shitty leaf

I was living with the Navajo until they heard me dis the chief

Cause everytime we'd smoke a joint I'd end up with the roach

Everytime I skip sport I get drilled by the coach

But everytime I play footy I get tackled in the dirt

And I crack another rib and it really fucking hurts

Everytime I brush my teeth I find another cavity

Everytime I try to fly I discover gravity

Everytime I have a craving I've run out of food

And Everytime we spin the bottle Im the one who ends up nude

Everytime I give a girl an orgasm she fakes

Everytime I jam it in the condom breaks

Everytime I gamble I lose all my chips

Everytime I eat all bran I get the shits

But everytime I shit it takes about an hour

And theres never any paper so I have to take a shower

And everytime I shower the towels already wet

And its not wet from water but wet with cum and sweat

Everytime I pluck my pubic hair to make myself attractive

My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic

Everytime I write a song radio stations ban it

Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic

Worship Satan

Everytime I make a joke people take me serious

Everytime I go down on a girl shes on her periods

Everytime I drive a car a cop will pull me over

But I say Im someone else and that Im sober

Every blind date turns out to be blind

My looks are all I have and that is why I mind

Everytime I have the dream when Im at the school dance

Everyone is looking at me cause I dont have any pants

Then we play piggy in the middle Im the pig

Everytime we play Tiggy Im the one whos it

Everytime I lick a toad I get warts on my tongue

Everytime I see a killer bee its when Im getting stung

Everytime I play scrabble I make the word at

Every wet fart leaves a stain where I sat

Everytime I fuck ya mum she wants it in the bum

And everytime Im done its not because Ive cum

Everytime I crack onto a chick I pull my sack out

EVerytime I try to suck my dick I put my back out

Everytime I catch a wave I hit a coral reef

And everytime I order vegetarian I get beef

I get beef

A chickens not a vegetable!