Sixteen

Stared into a white light and felt no reason to stay

You let the April breeze carry you away that day

And after two years, it’s still not easy to say, what I feel

When these thoughts of you bleed into my sanity

And the few times that we spoke seemed as if they were in confidence

And the times you showed your smile

It was brilliant and honest

I never quite knew what it meant

And I wish I’d never known

I wish I’d never fuking known

Stepping back into the past, I can see the crowded chapel

I can hear your friends crying

Sunken eyes stuck to the floor, I can hear every whisper

On graduation day, through the eyes of a mother I can see the agony

When I think of you… I wonder what happened and what that says about who I am

Am I living a life of meaning?

Is this life even worth living?

I don’t have all the answers

But I know one thing

And that’s Christian, if you’re out there, if you can hear me

You have no idea how much I wish you could see

The life that layed before you, who you could’ve been

But that was so much more than you could see at sixteen

And maybe that’s why I can’t catch any fucking sleep

Maybe I wait all night for you to come and visit me

Tell me why can our innocence can never stay alive?

It’s not right