This One Is For Myself

They say take your time

Yet, the pressure is coming from all sides

While I'm searching for something that I was denied

And be whole again

Haunted by these feelings I was lured into these trials

To rebuild my faith

But everything was blurry, I got trapped into denial

And became insane

This is the price that you pay once you know dispair

The sins of a monster who I don't recognize as myself

I'm falling down from my ego

I'm drowning, sinking in my fears

Acceptance is not on my side, I am lost

Amidst countless goodbyes

Now shame, guilt and sadness

Are my only retreat

I say in my time

Yet, the pressure is coming from inside

While I'm dealing with someone who I can't deny

And set myself free

Days becoming weeks while I was falling to my knees

I tell you, there're no games

And many were the questions that I answered with confessions

So, am I insane?

Am I just self destruction

There's wreckage falling over me

It seems my life turned upside down

I am gathering my pieces around

With shame, guilt and sadness

Always following me

I'm falling down from my ego

I'm drowning, sinking in my fears

Acceptance is not on my side, I am lost

Amidst countless goodbyes

Now shame, guilt and sadness

Now shame, guilt and sadness

And now, shame, guilt and sadness

Are my only retreat