Earth-shaking Event

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can it aim the camera at me

Cex got his heart broke, can you believe that?

I've got the pieces to prove it, but this track'll be my gluestick

An album on my shelf that'll tell me what I really need to hear

It's all the same, all rage, all tears

And It'd be nice to pump my fist, shout 'Bitch!' and feel great

But I just can't relate

I like girls, they're the one thing that makes this life worth livin'

So we ought to stop singing this stale regurgitation of dismiss

Today it all changed, you see I broke up with my girl

But I'ma right a party jam and dedicate it to her

Don't think for a minute I'm out to fake sensitive

You can kill me if you see me on some lily-faced shit

I'm just sick of the same self-righteous regret

I'm snatching mics and guitars from the whiny and redundant

Catch the blunt end of the role model's brutal honesty

Don't wallow in their mess depressed, follow me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can it aim the camera at me

Middle finger to the indie rock singer

Middle finger to the wack MC

Middle finger to the uncreative underground

And a sack of middle fingers to y'all on MTV

Middle finger to the indie rock singer

Middle finger to the wack MC

Middle finger to the uncreative underground

Now some sucks claim that their lyrically superior

Writing Cex off cause they say I'm not serious

Yeah, you might use a few more syllabyles

But you're singing about the exact same shit Britney Spears is

So hear this, I represent the average music listener

You've been bringin' us down, and now we're all pissed at ya

I'm takin' your crowns and handin' 'em out on the corner

To little kids sick of being tormented and bordered

I'm not gonna cry cause my girl and I split

I'm gonna be psyched that our lives even ever mixed

And that I didn't let the artist living in my headphones

Turn me bitter and cliche, ridiculous and emo

Oh no, au contraire my brother

Your mind sings precisely your problem with others

Because the five bisexual hang-ups are out

Sexual phone ringing off the hook, that's what it's about.

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can it aim the camera at me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend

That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event

This planet's seen in recent history

So I suggest that you can

Shut the fuck up, please!